Fighting Solitude (On The Ropes #3) Read online

  That is until I met Mia March, the only person who would ever be able to fill Quarry’s shoes—complete with shredding me in betrayal.

  It was a Friday, and I’d just gotten home from school. I was looking forward to a low-key weekend spent in my room with the radio blaring. Maybe doing a little online shoe shopping. But my entire life changed as I was going through the mail. My heart stopped, and panic rolled in my stomach. With shaking hands, I lifted my father’s latest issue of USA Boxing Magazine. On the front was a picture of Till and Quarry standing back to back. I would have ripped it out and added it to my scrapbook—err, if I’d had one. But the headline stopped me in my tracks.

  Find out how newly deaf Quarry Page plans to not only follow in his brother’s footsteps, but also surpass The Silencer’s reign in the ring.

  “Mom!” I yelled, dropping the magazine and tearing from the room. “He’s deaf?” I accused when I found her sitting in her office, probably working on something for my dad’s security company.

  Her eyes lifted to mine, and a tight smile formed on her lips. “Well—”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I didn’t know you’d be interested in news about Quarry.”

  “Are you crazy? He’s deaf! Of course I’m interested!”

  “I am a little crazy, but so are you if you think you’re going to continue yelling at me like that.” She nonchalantly brushed her long, blond hair back and pushed out from behind the desk. “Okay, so you’re interested. What now?”

  “What do you mean? What now?” I stared at her, incredulous.

  “Do you want me to tell you what’s been going on with Quarry for the last three years, or do you want to ask him yourself? I bet he’d sign something to add to that shrine you keep tucked under your bed.” She absently smoothed her fitted dress, which I promptly decided to order in my size.

  “Just tell me,” I huffed.

  “Well, his hearing took a significant downslide about—”

  She didn’t even get all the words out of her mouth before my stomach dropped. I couldn’t imagine how Q was handling it. He wasn’t a boy anymore—that much was visible. But I’d witnessed firsthand how devastated he had been when Till had lost his hearing. Now, it was the future and he was the one adjusting to a new life—in silence. Just the thought terrified me.

  “I want to go to Indy,” I blurted.

  Her knowing smile grew. “About time. I’ll tell your dad I need to discuss some things with Erica.”

  “What? Dad wouldn’t care if we—”

  “Pack a bag, Liv. We don’t want to get on the road too late.” She breezed past me, leaving me alone in the quiet room.

  But that wasn’t why I started freaking out. What the hell was I doing?

  Later, Q.

  Later, Rocky.

  It was officially later.

  I needed to be there. If not for him, then for me.

  It was time to let the past go.

  Crap.

  Three hours later, I was standing in the doorway of On The Ropes, watching a shirtless Quarry Page destroy a speed bag. It was late and the gym was mostly empty, but even if it had been packed, I wouldn’t have been able to miss him.

  I knew he’d changed from the pictures, but God, had he changed. Not quite seventeen yet, but he was well over six feet tall, and two black tattoos graced the traps at the base of his neck. His hair was probably the same length as the last time I’d seen him. However, it was no longer hanging in his eyes. The front was slicked back, most likely with a combination of gel and sweat, and the underneath was buzzed short. Not a hair fell out of place as he rhythmically pounded the swinging bag, switching hands with every punch. The sheen of sweat indicated he’d been at it for a while, but his arms remained steady, never slowing. My mouth dried as my eyes raked over his strong body—every inch rippled with muscles.

  Quarry was a man. And a gorgeous one at that.

  I stared for entirely too long before remembering why I was there in the first place.

  He was going to think I was insane, showing up after all these years. But, if there was ever someone who would understand why I needed to be there, it was him.

  Rushing forward, I slammed into his back and wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my face between his shoulder blades.

  His hands stilled in midair, but his muscular body instantly relaxed. His heart pounded out a rhythm that matched my own. Though his was probably only from the exertion of his workout. I couldn’t handle the idea that he might be excited to see me too. I was there to soothe my own fears. Not for him. Well, not completely.

  “Hey, Rocky,” he said in a deep baritone without even looking back.

  Staying flush against his back, I lifted my hands in front of him and signed, Hey, Q.

  “I was wondering if you were going to show up.”

  I continued to clumsily sign with my hands in front of him, using his body to make some of the gestures. I just heard. I’m so sorry. Are you okay? How are you doing?

  His shoulder shook as he chuckled. “I’m okay. I see you kept up your end of the deal and learned sign.” His voice was thick but unreadable. “I’m kinda failing on my end. Sorry.”

  Don’t you dare apologize. You didn’t fail anything. This was—

  He gently pushed my hand down with his glove to interrupt me. “You can talk, Liv.” Stepping away, he turned to face me. No sooner had he stilled than his eyes flared wide as he drank me in for the first time in over three years. He wasn’t the only one who had grown up—and had grown up well. “Jesus,” he breathed, dropping his gaze to the ground after it had lingered on my boobs for a beat too long.

  I was used to the attention. When I was fourteen, I’d gone from an A cup to a D. I no longer looked like a little girl in any regard. While I wasn’t the most popular girl in school, there wasn’t exactly a shortage of boys asking me out. There was, however, a shortage of me being interested—a fact that thrilled my parents. But, with only a single glance, I was suddenly very, very interested in one boy in particular.

  Thankfully, my mind was still focused on the reason for our little reunion. Snapping my fingers in his line of vision, I drew his attention back to my hands.

  How are you handling all this?

  “Stop with the sign language and talk.”

  I tipped my head to the side in confusion then once again started to sign.

  He barked a laugh. “Liv, I can hear you. Just talk.”

  “What?!” I shrieked.

  He tapped his ear with a gloved hand. “Hearing aids.”

  “What?!” I repeated.

  His lips spread into a wide smile that only grew when my eyes became fixated on it.

  “Jesus,” I repeated and flashed my gaze away.

  “I heard that.”

  “Wha…how?”

  “Shit, Liv, did you go deaf? I said…hearing aids.” After tucking a glove under his arm, he tugged it off and then repeated the process on the other side.

  I glared at him. “Oh my God! Did you lie to that magazine? It said you were deaf! That’s seriously messed up.”

  He laughed loudly while raking a hand through his hair. His abs flexed deliciously—not that I noticed or anything.

  “I didn’t lie. But I probably would have if I’d known it would bring you back from that cave you’ve been hiding in.” He smirked.

  A real-life, mouth-watering, manly smirk. It was infuriating—and gorgeous.

  For a champion boxer, his reflexes were seriously slow. Thus, when I threw a punch, it landed squarely on his shoulder.

  “I’m not back!”

  That freaking smirk morphed into a megawatt grin as he rubbed the spot where I’d hopefully left a bruise. “She’s back.”

  “I’m not back! But tell me why a magazine reported you were deaf when—”

  He crossed his thick arms over his chest, regarding me humorously. “When what?”

  “You can hear.”

  “I can.” He bent a
t the waist and leaned in close. “With hearing aids.”

  I threw my hands out to the sides. “That’s not deaf!”

  He tipped his head to the side. “I wasn’t aware you got your medical license over the last few years.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest, mirroring his posture, only I was sporting a scowl instead of a smile. “It’s good to see you’re still a liar.”

  His eyebrows shot up. “Liar? How exactly do you figure that?”

  I was becoming more and more annoyed. Mainly because I wanted to be annoyed but couldn’t manage it due to my overwhelming relief that he could still hear. But also because, with every word he spoke, I realized just how much I’d missed him over the years. Unfortunately, I also couldn’t forget how much he’d hurt me.

  And, just like a switch had been flipped, I was suddenly able to overcome the annoyance and longing. I replaced it with anger—irrational, juvenile, straight-up-bitch anger. I wasn’t above a low blow.

  Mocking a deep voice, I said, “I can’t protect you, Liv. I’m a failure, Liv. Hey, let me get my kicks out of scaring the fucking piss out of you, Rocky.” I spat his nickname for me like a curse. Dropping the voice and stepping toward him, I poked his chest with my finger. “Yes, Quarry. You’re a liar. You’re also a coward. And I hate you for it. And I hate myself because, even knowing all of this…I’ve still missed you.”

  The shit-eating grin disappeared from his handsome face, but it didn’t make me feel better in the least. The remorse left behind was staggering.

  I didn’t cry, but as I stared into his haunted hazel eyes, I still wiped my face because I was sure the tears were on their way.

  I wanted to go back for another verbal jab, just to make him hurt, but my voice broke. I couldn’t do it. No matter how mad I was.

  “I never should have come here. I’m glad to see you aren’t deaf,” I called over my shoulder as I headed for the gym door.

  I didn’t get but two steps away before his arm snaked around my waist and pulled my back against his chest. I didn’t fight him. Sure, he was more than twice my size, so there was no use anyway. But, honestly, I just liked the way I felt in his arms.

  “You’re right,” he gritted out. “I was a coward. I was also a thirteen-year-old boy who had no idea how to deal with the fact that the woman I consider a mother had been kidnapped and my brother had been paralyzed. I was fucked up, Liv. Christ, I’m still fucked up. Thirteen, seventeen, eighty. That shit was enough to screw with anyone’s head regardless of age.”

  “That’s not an apology!”

  “I see you didn’t read my letters.”

  “I see you’re a moron,” I bit back. It didn’t make much sense, but with him so close, it was all I could come up with.

  “I apologized a million times in those letters.”

  “I didn’t want your apology then.”

  “But you want it now?”

  “Yes! I mean…no.” I sucked in a deep breath and tried to cling to some semblance of composure. I wasn’t there to make up with my best friend.

  As far as I was concerned, those didn’t exist.

  I was only selfishly attempting to quell my own anxiety. “Look, I didn’t come here to rehash this. It happened. I just came because I thought you were deaf.”

  “I am deaf.”

  “Oh my God! Quit lying! If you just heard me say that, you aren’t deaf!”

  His whole body stiffened behind me, and his arm flexed around my stomach. “You can sling whatever fucking insult you want at me, and I will happily take them all from you. I’m an asshole for locking you in that closet. I’m a dumbass who sent you a million goddamn letters in order to apologize. I’m also an idiot who even went so far as to tell your dad what happened, hoping for some kind of help in delivering those same damn letters.”

  Now that was a surprise. It also explained why my mom had lied about our little excursion.

  “You told my dad?”

  “Yep. And trust me—not my smartest decision. He. Was. Pissed.”

  A giggle slipped out when I tried to imagine how that conversation had gone down.

  “What I am not is a liar. I won’t even take that shit from you, Rocky. Yes, I can hear you now, but if I take these hearing aids out, I wouldn’t be able to understand a damn word you said. I can still hear noises, but I’m useless with words. Five weeks ago, they vanished. And doctors are predicting even the noises will be gone soon enough.”

  “Oh.” My cheeks heated with embarrassment.

  “Yeah. Oh.” His arm fell away as he took a step in front of me, fisting his wrapped hands on his hips. “You had three hours on the ride down here. I figured you’d have at least read the article.”

  Hmm. I should have read the article.

  “I was worried,” I snapped, holding his glare.

  He arched an eyebrow. “You didn’t ask your parents before driving all the way down here?”

  Damn. I really should have let my mom finish.

  “I was worried,” I repeated, narrowing my eyes.

  It only caused one side of his mouth to tip up. “Right. Well, I’m glad. I’ve missed the fuck out of you too. I seriously need the cardio. I haven’t run a punishment lap in years.” He poked my side.

  I’ll be damned if he didn’t remember exactly the right spot to poke, too.

  “Stop!” I laughed against my will, swatting his hand away.

  When I looked back up, Quarry was watching me with a solemn expression.

  “I’m so fucking sorry, Liv.”

  “Yeah,” I replied, becoming enthralled with my shoes.

  It was easier to be mad than truly entertain an apology from him. I did miss him though. I just didn’t trust him.

  “We cool?” he asked.

  I wasn’t a liar, either. So, as much as I would have liked to let him off the hook, I couldn’t. Instead, I answered, “I don’t know, Q.”

  He twisted his lips in a grimace. “Okay, well, are we coolish?”

  “How about this—we’re cooler.”

  His eyes lit with hope. “I’ll take it.” He smiled wide, and my mouth was helpless not to follow suit. “How long are you in town for?”

  I shrugged. “Um…probably just the night.”

  “Hey, Flint’s picking me up in a few minutes. We’re supposed to be meeting up with Till and Eliza for dinner. You think your mom would let you come with us?”

  “She drove me three hours on a whim to see you, Q. I’m relatively sure she wouldn’t have a problem with me having dinner with the Page family.”

  “Sweet. Wait until you see the van Flint drives. It’s seriously pimp in that ‘Hey, little girl, you want some candy?’ way.”

  “So what you’re saying is I should jump from the van screaming for help when we get to the restaurant?”

  His eyes grew wide with excitement before he pulled me into a hug. “I’m so fucking glad you’re back. I’m thinking I should go ahead and run, like, twelve miles to bank up some laps in advance.”

  I was frozen.

  Quarry Page was hugging me.

  Shirtless.

  Front to front.

  We were suddenly getting a lot more than coolish. Actually, with his firm body pressed against me, I was becoming hotish.

  I laughed awkwardly. “Probably not a bad idea.” Neither is climbing into a cold shower, Liv.

  Releasing me, he stepped back as his mouth cracked into an epic smile. I had never known that something so beautiful existed. My heart raced, and I found myself unable to drag my eyes away. That is, until I realized that it wasn’t aimed at me.

  Hi, he signed with his gaze directed over my shoulder.

  That was the third time Quarry Page broke my heart.

  This time, he didn’t actually do anything at all, but it still shattered all the same.

  Glancing behind me, I saw a girl with a pixie cut and a bold stripe of pink through her sweeping bangs. She was pretty—there was no denying that. But, given her tattered skinny je
ans, clingy vintage tee, and a pair of Chuck Taylors, I wouldn’t have considered her any competition. The kind of guys who went for girls like her didn’t go for my style of dresses and heels.

  Which was exactly why my heart broke.

  When she signed, Who the fuck is she? I realized she was the type of girl Quarry went for.

  Looking back at Q, I caught him signing, Chill.

  My head flipped back and forth as they carried on a conversation as if I were invisible—while part of me wished I were.

  Not until you tell me why I just walked in and found you dry-humping some preppy bitch.

  Clearly she’d noticed how different we were as well.

  She’s not a bitch, and we were hugging. That’s hardly dry-humping, he shot back, completely immune to her death-stare.

  I wasn’t positive if the sign language was for her benefit or his, so I decided to both sign and speak as I stepped toward her. “Hi. I’m Liv.”

  I extended a hand, but her eyes remained glued to Q.

  “Maybe I should go,” I said out loud to Quarry.

  He too ignored me.

  “Mia, this is my old friend, Rocky. Rock, this is my insanely jealous, well…really just insane-in-general girlfriend, Mia.” He smiled patronizingly. Without talking, he signed, There. Now you gonna drop your attitude and get over here and kiss me?

  Her attention finally snapped to me. Raking her eyes over me, she signed, I thought you two weren’t friends anymore.

  She knew about me. Interesting.

  Quarry sauntered in her direction, pulling her into his side and kissing the top of her head. “Well, now, we are. She’s going to dinner with us too, so be nice.”

  Suddenly, I wanted to go to that dinner about as much as I wanted to pay full retail for the Louboutins I was saving up for.

  “You know, maybe I should take a rain check. I’d hate for my mom to eat dinner alone. She did just drive me here and everything.”

  “Bullshit. She’ll be with Erica. You’re going,” Quarry said. “And you’ll need to sign because Mia’s the real kind of deaf. Not the fake kind like me.” He winked.